Merry Christmas From Roscoe and Eric's Comedy!

Eric's Pic Bits: No Shave November

Disney Announces New Design for Epcot & a New Disney Princess

Disney announced today that due to it's recent purchase of Lucasfilm for $4.05 billion that it has plans to redesign the iconic center piece of it's Epcot Center at the Walt Disney World Resort located in Lake Buena Vista, Florida.

The newly redesigned Spaceship Earth will be now become known as Spaceship Death Star.

Construction is scheduled to be completed by the 2015 launch of Star Wars Episode VII, by which time the entire Walt Disney World Resort will be brought over to the Dark Side.

While Walt Disney World Resort's Spaceship Death Star will lack the capability of destroying other planets, it will be equipped with a killer laser light show.

In other related news, Disney also announced that it will be releasing a new children's animated movie in 2013 featuring their newest Disney princess, Darth Sparkles.

The movie, tentatively titled, "A Sith Lord's Fairytale," will star Fran Drescher as the voice of Princess Darth Sparkles.

Insiders say to expect a cameo by the beloved Jar Jar Binks.

Eric's Pic Bits - Giving to Charity

From the Cellphone: Black Couple

Here's a picture of a "Black Couple" that I took
at an antique flea market in Amish Country!
(Seriously! Look at the label!!)

From Twitter: Proof?

At least my friends on Twitter are thinking about me!
(Submitted by: @McFarkel)

From the Cellphone: Toothpick Instructions

I guess I've been doing it wrong all these years?

From the Cellphone: Biblical Bread

....Because eating the heathen's
leaven is unBiblical!

The Epitome of Idiocy: It's a "Win-Win" Situation

Recently one of my wife's friends told me that I need to shave my goatee off because it makes me look older than what I really am. Obviously someone's worried that I'm going to get to order from the senior menu before my time has come!

She suggested that if I didn't shave it, then I needed to at least trim the white hairs down so that it blends in more with the grey hair, that way I don't look nearly as old.

Ummm.....yeah. A person with grey hair doesn't look nearly as old as someone with white hair. I'm pretty certain that's not true! Anyways....

To be perfectly honest I'm perfectly fine with looking older. As a matter of fact I've come to the conclusion that after 37 years of life here on the earth I do not have enough white hair. I need more. Seriously, I need to look like Kenny Rogers.

According to my wife's friend's theory (notice I'm not claiming her as my own friend at this stage), the more white hair I have, the older I look.

Alright. Take into consideration that my wife just colored her hair, which obviously makes her look much younger by covering up her grey/white hairs.

Now, stand me right next to her & here's what happens: The older I look, the more it appears as if there's an age difference between my wife & I. The more it looks like there's a greater age difference between my wife & I, the younger my wife looks.

You see, me, with my white hair, makes my wife look younger! I am helping her!

And not only am I helping her look younger, but I'm also making myself out to look like a total stud, too. Because I look like that dude in his early 50's who landed the hot young thing in her late 20's!

It's a "win-win" situation. People will think that she's younger, & they will think that I'm a middle-aged pre-retirement stud muffin who's ready to register for an AARP mebership and sign up for the "Colonoscopy of the Month Club."

How can we lose?

From Twitter: The Romney/Obama Debate #1

Follow me on Twitter!
@EricsComedy

From the Cellphone: The Pickup Man

My guess is that whoever drives this
probably wears a cowboy hat!

Eric's Pic Bits: Long Distance Relationships

From the Cell Phone: Unclean Meat

Is this why God says that it's unclean meat?

From Twitter: Declaring Bacon

Because sometimes you just have to tell
Joel Osteen how it is!

Eric's Pic Bits: A Dog Named "Kitty"

Pictures of Me: The Dentist

Here's a picture of Me at the Dentist.
(Submitted by Veronica Cline.)

Eric's Pic Bits: Tuck Her In Like a Princess

From Facebook: I Empower Women

From The Cellphone: Canned "Meat"

The only way that this could be worse
is if they sold canned soy bacon! 

Eric's Pic Bits: Smelly Old Geezer

The Epitome of Idiocy: My Hunger Games Spoiler

Recently I was forced by wife severely Hunger Games addicted wife to sit down & watch the movie, the Hunger Games. Instead of writing a scathing review of what I thought about the movie, I though that I would just post a spoiler, instead.

So, here it is: SPOILER ALERT!!!

The closer you live to the Capital, the more you have to dress like Lady GaGa (guys included).

The further you live from the Capital the more you have to dress like the Coal Miner's Daughter (guys included).
 

This is the Game Maker
And his stylish beard.

Mocking Jays will kick your butt at Simon! (80's pop culture reference.)

All the black people live in District 11.

The plot is a combination of the following: Red Dawn, Surviving the Game (with Ice-T), Deliverance, Romeo & Juliet, and I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

You can make a killer pie with the berries!

At the end the President kills the Game Maker because he's jealous of the Game Maker's stylish beard. The End.

___________________________________________

From the Cellphone: Dad Gumm!

I got to work the other day & this is what I found

on my desk from one of my co-workers:

From Twitter: Blue Magic

Incredibly, this is how my friends on Twitter truly see me:

Somewhere between Jib-Jab & PeeWee's Playhouse!

Submitted by @McFarkel. Follow him on Twitter.
Shoot. He might even do the same thing to you!

Pictures of You - On Mars

Curiosity took a picture of You on Mars.
Still didn't find any signs of intelligent life!
(Submitted by @McFarkel)

From Twitter - Dance Like David Did

Follow me on Twitter! Click Here!

Pictures of Me - The Carwash

Here's a picture of Me going through the carwash!
(Submitted by my friend, Veronica Cline.)

From the Cellphone: Salad Dressing

It's hard to believe that this salad dressing
was made in a REAL lighthouse in Italy!

Eric's Fake Fliers - The Babysitter

Maybe one of the patrons
at this local eatery
can help me find work?

Pictures of You - In the Toliet

Here's a picture of You playing in the toilet.

From the Cellphone - Dollar General

....because nothing makes you feel sexier
then shopping at Dollar General!!

 

Pictures of Me: With a pilot

Here's a picture of Me
with a pilot.

From Twitter - Windbreakers

Follow me on Twitter
@EricsComedy

Eric's Fake Fliers - Math Homework

What better place to get help
with your math homework
than at your local bank?

Pictures of Me - Gambling

Here's a picture of Me
on a slot machine.

Pictures of You - Talking on the Phone

Here's a picture of You talking on the phone at work
Submitted by @CaseUAH
Click here to follow her on Twitter!!

From the Cellphone - Ceramics

Figures. I go to Goodwill looking for a deal
and all I find is a bunch of crappy ceramics.

Eric's Fake Fliers - The Cat

This cat is SERIOUS!

Pictures of Me - Sliding

Here's a picture of Me
going down a slide.

From the Cellphone - Pothead

I took a picture of this Pothead at the Dollar Store.

Pictures of Me - On Fire

Here's a picture of Me
on fire.

Picture of You - Asleep at Church

Here's a picture of You asleep at church.
Submitted by @McFarkel
Click here to follow him on Twitter!

Eric's Fake Fliers - 3D Glasses

You need 3D glasses just to read
this thing. Sheesh!

Pictures of Me - Hawaii

Here's a picture of Me
with a nice couple
from Hawaii.

From the Cellphone - 23 & 1/2 Hour?

What are they doing the other 30 minutes?

Pictures of You - Smoking

Here's a picture of you smoking next to several highly flammable substances!.

Pictures of Me - Wearing Glasses

Here's a picture of Me
wearing glasses.

Bass Boat for Sale

This is what you call a
Redneck Eye Chart!