The Epitome of Idiocy: My Hunger Games Spoiler

Recently I was forced by wife severely Hunger Games addicted wife to sit down & watch the movie, the Hunger Games. Instead of writing a scathing review of what I thought about the movie, I though that I would just post a spoiler, instead.

So, here it is: SPOILER ALERT!!!

The closer you live to the Capital, the more you have to dress like Lady GaGa (guys included).

The further you live from the Capital the more you have to dress like the Coal Miner's Daughter (guys included).
 

This is the Game Maker
And his stylish beard.

Mocking Jays will kick your butt at Simon! (80's pop culture reference.)

All the black people live in District 11.

The plot is a combination of the following: Red Dawn, Surviving the Game (with Ice-T), Deliverance, Romeo & Juliet, and I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

You can make a killer pie with the berries!

At the end the President kills the Game Maker because he's jealous of the Game Maker's stylish beard. The End.

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From the Cellphone: Dad Gumm!

I got to work the other day & this is what I found

on my desk from one of my co-workers:

From Twitter: Blue Magic

Incredibly, this is how my friends on Twitter truly see me:

Somewhere between Jib-Jab & PeeWee's Playhouse!

Submitted by @McFarkel. Follow him on Twitter.
Shoot. He might even do the same thing to you!

Pictures of You - On Mars

Curiosity took a picture of You on Mars.
Still didn't find any signs of intelligent life!
(Submitted by @McFarkel)

From Twitter - Dance Like David Did

Follow me on Twitter! Click Here!

Pictures of Me - The Carwash

Here's a picture of Me going through the carwash!
(Submitted by my friend, Veronica Cline.)

From the Cellphone: Salad Dressing

It's hard to believe that this salad dressing
was made in a REAL lighthouse in Italy!

Eric's Fake Fliers - The Babysitter

Maybe one of the patrons
at this local eatery
can help me find work?

Pictures of You - In the Toliet

Here's a picture of You playing in the toilet.

From the Cellphone - Dollar General

....because nothing makes you feel sexier
then shopping at Dollar General!!

 

Pictures of Me: With a pilot

Here's a picture of Me
with a pilot.

From Twitter - Windbreakers

Follow me on Twitter
@EricsComedy

Eric's Fake Fliers - Math Homework

What better place to get help
with your math homework
than at your local bank?

Pictures of Me - Gambling

Here's a picture of Me
on a slot machine.

Pictures of You - Talking on the Phone

Here's a picture of You talking on the phone at work
Submitted by @CaseUAH
Click here to follow her on Twitter!!

From the Cellphone - Ceramics

Figures. I go to Goodwill looking for a deal
and all I find is a bunch of crappy ceramics.

Eric's Fake Fliers - The Cat

This cat is SERIOUS!

Pictures of Me - Sliding

Here's a picture of Me
going down a slide.

From the Cellphone - Pothead

I took a picture of this Pothead at the Dollar Store.

Pictures of Me - On Fire

Here's a picture of Me
on fire.

Picture of You - Asleep at Church

Here's a picture of You asleep at church.
Submitted by @McFarkel
Click here to follow him on Twitter!

Eric's Fake Fliers - 3D Glasses

You need 3D glasses just to read
this thing. Sheesh!

Pictures of Me - Hawaii

Here's a picture of Me
with a nice couple
from Hawaii.

From the Cellphone - 23 & 1/2 Hour?

What are they doing the other 30 minutes?

Pictures of You - Smoking

Here's a picture of you smoking next to several highly flammable substances!.

Pictures of Me - Wearing Glasses

Here's a picture of Me
wearing glasses.

Bass Boat for Sale

This is what you call a
Redneck Eye Chart!

From the Cell Phone: The Ultimate Restroom Sign

I came across this today while attending
a friends graduation party at their church!

The Epitome of Idiocy: Biblically Based Diets

There's been much talk here lately amoung overweight & out of shape Christians about the Daniel Diet. Not wanting to be left out, I decided to try my own Biblically inspired diet based on Ezekiel 4. I simply call it: The Ezekiel Diet.

The instructions are found in Ezekiel 4:9-12 and they are as followed:

"Now go and get some wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet, and emmer wheat, and mix them together in a storage jar. Use them to make bread for yourself....Ration this out to yourself, eight ounces of food for each day, and eat it at set times. Then measure out a jar of water for each day, and drink it at set times. Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes....bake it over a fire using dried human dung as fuel and then eat the bread."

I STRONGLY suggest that you guys don't try this!

• First off, my son watched in horror as I "placed" the dung into the fireplace. He may need therapy.
• Secondly, my wife yelled at me because my barley cakes stunk up the house. (I'm not sure she knew at the time what I was using for fuel!)
• Next, she made me bleach clean the fireplace, afterwards. Apparently my son told her what I used for fuel.
• Lastly, I may need to sleep on someone's couch tonight. She's calling a lawyer in the morning & says that she doesn't want me sleeping here anymore.

The Moral of the Story: Some diets are just not worth it!

From the Cellphone: The Walmart Restroom

Walmart has these in the stalls so that you can restrain your child while you're going #2.
Let's just say that my 17 year old isn't too happy. He may need therapy.

The Epitome of Idiocy: Stocking Shampoo

The other day I was in the shower and I couldn't find my bar of soap. "Let the Easter Egg hunt begin!"

I finally found it. It was buried under a huge pile of bottles and a sea of scrunchies.

I remember when I was single all I needed in my shower was a wash cloth, 1 bar of soap, 1 bottle of shampoo with conditioner, of course! Can't have 2 bottles in the shower! Gotta have the all-in-one shampoo & conditioner!

Since I decided to marry a hairstylist my bathroom has been turned into a warehouse. We even have a cherry picker in our shower just so we can get to the conditioner!!

Fake Fun Fact: Studies show that 1 in every 2 people who use 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner spend half the time in the shower then those who shower twice as long.

Pictures of Me - The Donkey

Here's a picture of Me riding on a donkey.

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- Do you have an idea of where I can take a picture of Me?

- Perhaps there's something you'd like to see Me have a picture taken with?

- Have you ever thought about doing your own Pictures of Me?

You can now submit your idea's for Pictures of Me or submit your very own Pictures of Me and possibly have them published right here on this site!

Please send them to: info@EricsComedy.com

*Please Note: Submitting your ideas or your own Pictures of Me does not guarentee that it will be published. Content will be taken into consideration. The pictures must be funny & they must be family-friendly. Nothing crass, nothing lewd will be considered for publication.

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Pictures of Me - The Shower

Here's a picture of Me
taking a shower.
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- Do you have an idea of where I can take a picture of Me?

- Perhaps there's something you'd like to see Me have a picture taken with?

- Have you ever thought about doing your own Pictures of Me?

You can now submit your idea's for Pictures of Me or submit your very own Pictures of Me and possibly have them published right here on this site!

Please send them to: info@EricsComedy.com

*Please Note: Submitting your ideas or your own Pictures of Me does not guarentee that it will be published. Content will be taken into consideration. The pictures must be funny & they must be family-friendly. Nothing crass, nothing lewd will be considered for publication.

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Eric's Fake Fliers - The Missing Flier

I posted this at a local grocery store.
Didn't take them long to take it down.
Non-the-less...
Can YOU help me find find my flier?
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Got Fliers?
- Do you have an idea for a fake funny flier that you would like to see me do?

- Do you have a pic of a funny flier or poster that you've seen in public?

- Have you made up a flier that's hilarious that you've posted in a public place?

You can now submit your idea for a flier or pics of your funny fliers to me at:

info@EricsComedy.com

*Please Note: Submitting your photo does not guarentee that it will be published. Content will be taken into consideration. The flier must be funny & it must be family-friendly. Nothing crass, nothing lewd will be considered for publication.

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