Recently one of my wife's friends told me that I need to shave my goatee off because it makes me look older than what I really am. Obviously someone's worried that I'm going to get to order from the senior menu before my time has come!
She suggested that if I didn't shave it, then I needed to at least trim the white hairs down so that it blends in more with the grey hair, that way I don't look nearly as old.
Ummm.....yeah. A person with grey hair doesn't look nearly as old as someone with white hair. I'm pretty certain that's not true! Anyways....
To be perfectly honest I'm perfectly fine with looking older. As a matter of fact I've come to the conclusion that after 37 years of life here on the earth I do not have enough white hair.
I need more.
Seriously, I need to look like Kenny Rogers.
According to my wife's friend's theory (notice I'm not claiming her as my own friend at this stage), the more white hair I have, the older I look.
Alright. Take into consideration that my wife just colored her hair, which obviously makes her look much younger by covering up her grey/white hairs.
Now, stand me right next to her & here's what happens: The older I look, the more it appears as if there's an age difference between my wife & I. The more it looks like there's a greater age difference between my wife & I, the younger my wife looks.
You see, me, with my white hair, makes my wife look younger!
I am helping her!
And not only am I helping her look younger, but I'm also making myself out to look like a total stud, too. Because I look like that dude in his early 50's who landed the hot young thing in her late 20's!
It's a "win-win" situation. People will think that she's younger, & they will think that I'm a middle-aged pre-retirement stud muffin who's ready to register for an AARP mebership and sign up for the "Colonoscopy of the Month Club."
How can we lose?
